I love to eat. When I’m hungry.
If I’m not hungry, and you try to feed me, I will do one of 3 things:
- Take it and store it in one of my dishes for later.
- Take a bite, turn my head to the side, and surreptitiously spit it out.
- Pretend to take a bite.
My favorite foods are, in no particular order: lettuce, tofu, chips…mmm…salty chips… Wait. Did I hear someone open the chip bag? Did you hear that? Hey! You! Flock member with the chips! Yep, I’m talkin to you! Chip! Me too!
sound of crunching…
Ah, excellent. Mmm, chip. Now where was I? Oh yes. Favorite foods. Edamame, salmon, chicken, green beans, cucumbers, zucchini, almonds, salty cashews… Well, I have a lot of favorite foods. Many of them are green vegetables. I also like apples and bananas.
Not a vampire
Certain fruit and vegetables I like only for their juices. In this case, I will spit out the part I do not like. For instance, apples. I like to take a bite, suck out all the juice, then spit out the fibrous part. Same with corn kernels. And green peppers. Some things are all about the juice, you know? But this does not make me a vampire.
No live food
Speaking of which, I do not eat anything that is alive. I hear rumors of less human quaker parrots, out in the wild, in places like Chicago, eating things like live bugs. Yuck! Maybe, just maybe, if someone cooked them first, you could convince me to try one. One time, someone – let’s just randomly call him Mark – tried to feed me a live bug. It was a little dark bug, it looked like a seed. I spit that out so fast! Disgusting! And it moved in my mouth! shudders. Gross. I never fell for that again.
Nothing red or orange
I do not like food that is orange or red. The only exception to this rule is sweet potatoes. I like those. And red apples are OK. But I never eat the peel (see vampire section above).
Eating with my flock
I really, really, really like to eat with my flock. I have my own ceramic dishes, made by a human named Katie. She’s pretty cool. Sometimes she comes to visit me. My flock members think she comes for them, but I know what’s really going on. I also have my own perch next to the table, with a dish attached. Almost anything that anyone else eat, I can eat too. With just one exception: avocados.
Avocados are really dangerous for me. The pit and the skin are poisonous, and just a little bit could make me really sick or even kill me. So no avocados, please! But if you are having chips with those…just a hand over a chip, and no one gets hurt. I can totally eat a chip the size of my head. Or I can save the rest for later.
What do you like to eat?